When I read this part: ‘Six days after he was “forced” to tell his wife—because the pastor we had both been seeing for counsel told him he would not offer absolution unless he did.’
I’m understanding the referents of pronouns as referring to Erik as the ‘he' and ‘him’ and the ‘we’ as you and Erik. Is that correct?
This is a good question—thank you for asking for clarification.
I was attending an LCMS church during much of the affair. In December 2022 (two months in), I went to the pastor of that church to confess what was happening and to ask for help in exiting the affair.
When I revealed Erik’s identity, the pastor asked me to invite Erik to speak with him separately. At first, Erik refused, but eventually, he agreed. Later, Erik told me he only met with the pastor in the name of damage control, since the pastor had once been one of Erik’s students and their professional circles overlapped in ways Erik found risky.
The pastor began counseling Erik weekly. During a short pause in the affair, the pastor was meeting with both Erik and I, separately. Eventually, I stopped meeting with the pastor because I no longer trusted the dynamic. Once Erik completed his sessions with the pastor, the affair resumed.
After the affair was revealed, I met with that pastor one final time. He told me that he had “forced” Erik to tell his wife. I responded with skepticism: “Unless you were in the room, there’s no way that happened.” The pastor replied, “I told him to have her call me after he confessed.” At that point, the pastor also began counseling Erik’s wife.
As I read I need a point of clarification.
When I read this part: ‘Six days after he was “forced” to tell his wife—because the pastor we had both been seeing for counsel told him he would not offer absolution unless he did.’
I’m understanding the referents of pronouns as referring to Erik as the ‘he' and ‘him’ and the ‘we’ as you and Erik. Is that correct?
This is a good question—thank you for asking for clarification.
I was attending an LCMS church during much of the affair. In December 2022 (two months in), I went to the pastor of that church to confess what was happening and to ask for help in exiting the affair.
When I revealed Erik’s identity, the pastor asked me to invite Erik to speak with him separately. At first, Erik refused, but eventually, he agreed. Later, Erik told me he only met with the pastor in the name of damage control, since the pastor had once been one of Erik’s students and their professional circles overlapped in ways Erik found risky.
The pastor began counseling Erik weekly. During a short pause in the affair, the pastor was meeting with both Erik and I, separately. Eventually, I stopped meeting with the pastor because I no longer trusted the dynamic. Once Erik completed his sessions with the pastor, the affair resumed.
After the affair was revealed, I met with that pastor one final time. He told me that he had “forced” Erik to tell his wife. I responded with skepticism: “Unless you were in the room, there’s no way that happened.” The pastor replied, “I told him to have her call me after he confessed.” At that point, the pastor also began counseling Erik’s wife.