The Full Story in One Place: My Experience with Erik Herrmann
Links to all of my writing on Erik Herrmann, gathered in one place.
Prologue
On April 17, 2023, at 9:33 a.m., I was waiting for Erik Herrmann in a commuter parking lot, just like I did two or three days a week.
He texted that he’d be leaving soon, told me he loved me, and said he couldn’t wait to spend the day together.
By 9:45, my husband, driving a red car Erik hadn’t recognized, was confronting him on a side street in St. Louis.
By 10:33, Erik was calling me in a panic.
“What am I supposed to do?” he said. “Give up everything for this?”
That was the end of the affair.
I never heard from Erik again.
For the next two years, I assumed Erik and his wife were following a similar path to the one my husband and I were on—wailing, gnashing of teeth, and wrestling matches with the past, present, and whatever we might salvage for the future.
Alas, my miscalculation was akin to that of a widow at the wrong grave—grieving at the site of something long buried, unaware the body was never there to begin with.
A year and a half after Erik Herrmann resigned from his position as Dean of Theological Research and Publication at Concordia Seminary—after I brought evidence of clergy sexual misconduct to Lee Hagan, President of the Missouri District of the LCMS—I stumbled across a new photo of him online.
That’s when I learned he was teaching again.
This time, it was at a different seminary: Christ School of Theology, under the banner of the Institute of Lutheran Theology. As of the time of this writing (April 2025), he is slated to teach at ILT this summer.
By February 2025, less than two years after he resigned from the LCMS pastoral roster and as Dean of Theological Research and Publication at Concordia Seminary, he was preaching at Best Practices in Ministry.
What followed began with a simple email I sent anonymously to the president of ILT. My hands shaking a bit, I asked Dennis Bielfeldt if he knew why Erik resigned from Concordia and, if so, why he felt safe inviting Erik into the pastoral formation of his students. And if not, did it bother him that Erik hadn’t told him the truth?
When I didn’t receive a response from Bielfeldt, I took to Reddit and asked a general question:
Should a professor who resigned over an affair return to teaching theology without ever facing accountability?
5,300 people viewed that post. Nearly 100 engaged.
Half of them shouted me down with calls for grace and forgiveness. The other half warned me of the dangers of telling lies about someone like Erik Herrmann on a public platform.
There were demands like:
“Where’s your evidence?!”
“You’re playing a dangerous game.”
And one lone voice—one stranger—who revealed a detail that launched a one-woman investigation that reached Thomas Egger at Concordia Seminary, Lee Hagan at the LCMS, and eventually, Dennis Bielfeldt.
I had been calling for accountability.
But what I realized, post by post, was this:
I was bringing it.
Whether they liked it or not.
What follows is a full collection of posts: evidence, timelines, and reflections about what happened in private, and in the institutions that chose silence over accountability.
This story is deeply personal—written in the aftermath of grief, betrayal, and silence—and every word has been a risk toward healing.
Here Are All the Links To My Writing on Erik Herrmann
Chapter 1: How It Began — An account of how my relationship with Erik Herrmann began, and the conditions that made it possible.
Chapter 2: The Battlefield — Reflections on anger, forgiveness, and why telling the truth is a path to peace, not war.
Chapter 3: Words That Bind — Exploring how language, silence, and spiritual manipulation work together to protect leadership and suppress truth.
Chapter 4: The Triangle — An explanation of how triangulation operates in abusive systems — and how exposing hidden loyalties can break the cycle.
Chapter 5: The Complicated Question of Accountability — A reflection on the silence of institutions and why the refusal to make a public statement denies both justice and healing.
Chapter 6: Idols Aren’t Just Little Gold Men — A reflection on how manipulation distorts reality, how silence protects lies, and how telling the truth dismantles both the idol and the illusion.
Chapter 7: For Those Asking for Evidence, This is Where I’ll Begin — The beginning of sharing concrete evidence — and the story of why telling the truth about what happened mattered more than staying silent.
Chapter 8: For Those Asking for Evidence, This is Where I’ll Continue — More of the story brought into the light because truth deserves to be seen, even when institutions would rather look away.
Chapter 9: For Those Asking for Evidence, This is Where I’ll End — The final offering of evidence, marking the cost of living honestly after betrayal, and the freedom that comes when you stop shielding those who caused harm.
Chapter 10: Why I Was Vulnerable — The story of the deep unraveling that came before Erik — a season of loss, resilience, and quiet prayers for rescue that set the stage for what came next.
Chapter 11: Why I Was Vulnerable, Part II — A reflection on how sacred longings can be seen, spoken to, and misused, and how even in loss, dignity and truth remain.
Chapter 12: You Are the Man — A powerful reflection from my husband’s perspective — on grief, betrayal, survival, and the hard, redemptive road of healing after sin nearly destroyed everything.
Chapter 13: How Spiritual Language Is Used to Silence: A Real-Time Example in Screenshots — A real-time example of how spiritual language, loyalty, and old patterns are used to silence and shame, and a reminder that sometimes, laughter is part of survival.
Chapter 14: The Resignation Loophole — An exploration of how resignation without accountability protects leaders, not communities, and why closing this loophole is urgent for the health and safety of the Church.
Chapter 15: Accountability Is Not Public Shaming — An exploration of why real accountability matters, why silence is not protection, and why telling the truth is an act of care for both people and institutions.
Chapter 16: A Dangerous Woman, A Righteous Man — After receiving voicemails from Erik’s wife, I reflect on the painful rewriting of the story, the real danger that took place, and the deeper mercy that met me on the path to healing.
Chapter 17: One Week After the Affair Was Exposed, Erik Herrmann Led Chapel — After Erik disappeared from my life, he reappeared almost immediately in public ministry, presiding over chapel just one week later, thus highlighting the deep cruelty of a private discard paired with public performance.
Chapter 18: Spotting Spiritual Gaslighting and Restoring Your Sense of Reality — This piece explores five signs of spiritual gaslighting, where faith is misused to confuse, control, or silence, and reflects on how naming these patterns became the final step in reclaiming peace and clarity after deep betrayal.
Chapter 19: Borrowed Credibility: How Erik Herrmann Escaped Accountability — A reflection on how Erik Herrmann used spiritual, professional, and emotional power to pursue a relationship without facing real consequences, and how institutions and trusted figures were likely leveraged, knowingly or not, to help him reestablish credibility.
Chapter 20: Here are the Facts—Laid Out with Evidence — A clear, documented timeline showing that Erik Herrmann’s resignation from Concordia Seminary and the LCMS clergy roster directly followed a formal report of sexual misconduct and how institutional silence has allowed confusion and speculation to persist.
Chapter 21: Let the Record Show — After reaching out to every institution involved, this post shows how Concordia Seminary, the Missouri District, and the Institute of Lutheran Theology each chose image over truth, and why the next generation of leaders must learn a better way.
Chapter 22: He Could Have Told the Truth. He Didn’t. — This post reflects on how real closure came, not through institutional accountability, but by telling the full truth. It also reveals how Erik’s ongoing deception deepens the harm and shows why protecting image over truth only perpetuates the pain.
Chapter 23: The Next Woman Is Already Here — This post reveals how the LCMS leadership’s ongoing silence about Erik Herrmann’s misconduct isn’t just protecting the past; it’s enabling new harm right now. As another woman struggles under the weight of an inappropriate relationship with a trusted LCMS pastor, the post calls out how silence emboldens abuse, isolates victims, and erodes the trust that faithful pastors work hard to build.
Chapter 24: Thank You for Reaching Out — I share a message from an LCMS pastor who thanked me for giving survivors new language and called for greater accountability in the church. His humility and courage reflect the deeper purpose behind telling my story.
Chapter 25: What Healing from Emotional Trauma Actually Looks Like — After a season of betrayal and emotional trauma, healing came not by shrinking emotions but by expanding the space to hold them.
Chapter 26: The Next Woman Has Evidence. The Pastor Is Currently Preaching. — Another woman has come forward, currently involved in an inappropriate relationship with an LCMS pastor tied to Concordia Seminary. Her fear of speaking up mirrors the pattern seen throughout this story: powerful men protected by institutional silence, while women carry the shame and consequences alone.
Chapter 27: Frequently Asked Questions — This post answers common questions about my story, process, and motivations.
Chapter 28: Fire and Water: The Battle Between Destruction and Renewal — This post reflects on how healing from the affair moved from being overwhelmed by memories to standing strong against them. I use a vivid ocean metaphor to describe how grief, guilt, and confusion once pulled me under, but how, over time, telling the truth and facing reality built resilience.
Chapter 29: My Statement of Accountability — After weeks of speaking about spiritual abuse and institutional silence, I pause to offer my own accountability. I openly name my participation in the six-month affair with Erik Herrmann, taking responsibility for the harm caused to both families and the broader community.
Chapter 30: Ten Things That Helped Me Heal — Healing after the affair required more than time; it took intentional choices.
Chapter 31: The Battle of the Second, Sixth, and Eighth Commandments — This essay explores how the Eighth Commandment has been weaponized to protect appearances rather than address actual sin. It challenges the selective outrage often aimed at truth-tellers instead of adulterers—and draws on Luther’s own words to show why public sins demand public truth.
Chapter 32: Let the Rot Be Exposed — This essay explores the biblical and psychological legitimacy of righteous anger, calls the church to confront spiritual abuse, and offers a direct, compassionate message to women currently involved in hidden relationships with pastors. It ends with a plea for the Church to be the Church again—truthful, accountable, and rooted in Christ.
Chapter 33: What is the Biblical Equivalent of Accountability? — This article explores the biblical foundation of accountability as a call to name sin, seek repentance, and pursue restoration. Drawing from Scripture, Lutheran confessions, and pastoral wisdom, it shows how accountability brings what is broken into the light for healing. The church reflects Christ best when it creates space for honest confession, meaningful repentance, and renewed community.
Chapter 34: What It Takes to Rebuild Trust: A Husband’s Journey After Infidelity — My husband shares what rebuilding trust really required after the affair—honesty, mutual effort, and daily faithfulness. He reflects on how God used even the wreckage to lead us toward deeper intimacy and lasting restoration.
Chapter 35: Evangelicals, Lutherans, and the Quiet Exit Strategy — In this essay, I reflect on how both evangelical and Lutheran churches often protect their institutions instead of telling the truth about clergy sexual misconduct. While the strategies may look different—public branding in evangelical spaces and quiet removal in Lutheran ones—the result is the same: those harmed are left without clarity, care, or real accountability, and the church’s witness suffers in the silence.
Chapter 36: No Vetting, No Statement: CMPL’s Replatforming of Erik Herrmann Raises New Questions — This essay examines the quiet replatforming of Dr. Erik Herrmann by the Center for Missional and Pastoral Leadership (CMPL), raising public questions about leadership integrity, institutional accountability, and the LCMS’s broader pastoral training crisis. It calls on CMPL’s leadership, including Dr. Jeff Kloha, to publicly explain their decision to platform Herrmann without addressing his documented history of clergy sexual misconduct.
Chapter 37: President Egger’s Email — In April 2025, my husband asked Concordia Seminary’s president to provide public clarity on Erik Herrmann’s resignation. This post shares Dr. Egger’s written response in full.
Chapter 38: What Will Happen When the Silence Finally Breaks? — After reaching out privately to ILT in February 2025, I began publicly documenting my story when it became clear that silence and denial still surrounded Erik Herrmann’s resignation. This post traces how the truth began to surface, how the Substack began, and ends with a direct message to Erik: it’s time to tell the truth.
Chapter 39: Why I Went to President Hagan in 2023: The Story and the Evidence — This post shares what happened when I met with LCMS District President Lee Hagan to report my relationship with Erik Herrmann, and why I made the decision to come forward. It includes details of the evidence I submitted, the painful emotional state I was in, and how that meeting marked the beginning of my separation from Erik and from secrecy. I end with a warning about “ghost promises” and the high cost of silence.
Chapter 40: No Vetting, No Statement: CMPL’s Replatforming of Erik Herrmann Raises New Questions — In this report, I examine Erik Herrmann’s quiet reappearance as a faculty member at the Center for Missional and Pastoral Leadership (CMPL), despite his 2023 resignation following clergy sexual misconduct. I raise concerns about CMPL’s lack of vetting, the role of Herrmann’s personal connection to Jeff Kloha, and what this silence signals about leadership, transparency, and institutional trust within the LCMS.
To be continued . . .